I'm really beginning to understand a few things since I've started this class, and especially this documentary. First, I can understand why Peter Jackson slept through post production on King Kong. I'm constantly tired. I don't get to sleep much because 1, I'm always doing something, and 2, because I'm always freaking out about what I'm doing with my time. Second, I can understand why film people are so cranky and mean. You don't get a lot of sleep, and you're stressed out all the time. Hell, I think I've ground my teeth into dust! And I might be getting an ulcer. Or at least my heartburn is coming back.

...

That's about it, really. I shoot in two days, and I've still not got permission from the venue. Stay tuned. This whole thing might fall through the floor.

Okay, this may not make the most sense, but then, my readership ain't exactly huge, so I can get away with not making sense all the time, capiche?

So I'm in film school now, and I've already done a short film. You'll see it eventually. The point is, it's not The Night Nurse. It's not even a little bit The Night Nurse. So what's this post doing here?

Because it's a step. I've taken a step toward The Night Nurse. And this weekend, I have to shoot a documentary. At the Bowery Ballroom. Of a Japanese band called GitoGito Hustler. And I've hired an interpreter, and I have to hire an extra camera, and cameraman. I have to see if my cinematographer is going to show up. And I have to get cleared to shoot at the Bowery by some guy named Johnny Beach (I shit you not).

So it's been busy, and I have to admit, sometimes I've been terrified. Because I spend the day at a job feeling like I'm wasting time when I could be producing this thing, and then when I actually produce, I have to psych myself up to do it.

So I recite to myself a little bit of the Bene Gesserit Littainy against Fear:

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Shit, man, sometimes I think of getting that tattooed on my left forearm so I can read it.